Death (AKA the Grim Reaper, AKA our ex-bass player)

When we first met Death, we totally thought he was trying to assassinate us. Most bogus! But it turns out he is a totally sweet bass player. He was a decisive part of the band from 1991-1994 until an internal clashing of philosophies pulled the plug on our resplendent harmonies. Although we can no longer call him a Stallyn, we wish him well on his own sonic voyage.

Rufus

Rufus is undoubtably a most exceptionally exceptional old dude, and he profoundly changed the course of our histories. We have been through countless tribulations with him, and we unequivocally wouldn’t be on the auditory journey we are on today without his most eminent support. We dedicated our first album Meet up at the Circle K to express our gratitude to his distinguished self.

Napoleon Bonaparte

A total legend of history. We used to think he was just a vertically challenged dude who enjoyed yelling at us from his horse, but he is undoubtably so much more. Sometimes he likes to yell at us from tall buildings too.

Joan of Arc

Joanie is the most bad-ass babe we have ever had the pleasure of encountering on our travels across the universe. She had the most profoundly luminous visions but was met with condemnation by her associates. That is indubitably atrocious behaviour, dudes.

Socrates

A totally non-non-non-heinous historical smart dude. Our good friend Socrates taught us that all we are is dust in the wind, dudes. Deep.

Ludwig Van Beethoven

Beethoven has the magic digits that totally made transcendent melodic overtures like Moonlight Sonata and his Fifth Symphony. He is the sonic inspiration behind our hit song Party on in San Dimas, Bodacious Babes.

Billie & Thea

Our daughters Billie and Thea are the seminal reason behind our drive to be totally musically superior. They are most outstanding musical geniuses, and fully validated our move to theremin forward melodies.

Kid Cudi

A total tuneful wizard, Cudi is a close and personal friend of the Wyld Stallyns. We are totally supporting him on his tour across East Europe, and will be witness to his stage craft which will promote peace and the end of fossil fuels.